Been a while since I had to pull this one out! I was sorting through my bookmarks in Yahoo and came across a site I bookmarked with The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" lyrics. I didn't even have time to blink or think before the tears started---and came and came and came and came!! I knew I had made this post and instead of starting a new one I was just going to add to this one....but could I do just that? NOOOOO!! I had to go and reread this whole thing.....Why am I so stupid?? And why is everyone else here so smart?? NWTR, Nightbird, Manda, muffy, Einna, gimmeice, kitty, katheryn, sorrel, Molly, turquoisesea. All of you responded and gave hugs and/or such wonderful, wonderful words to me. Rereading I first was sobbing, then rerereading your words calmed me. I'm just such an idiot sometimes. It's been a while since we've had any contact and seeing that link in my bookmarks just was like ripping a scab off and bleeding all over the place. How can lyrics effect me so much? Hurt so much? It' not just the words, I can see him singing this to me and dancing. Why can't my mind understand the words I'm silently screaming to it? "IT'S A MEMORY! IT HAPPENED, IT WAS NICE AND YOU WERE IN LOVE. IT'S OVER. IT'S BEEN OVER FOR A LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG TIME. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THAT AGAIN. JUST FORGET IT." But nope, one stupid song---ok, there's a total of 3 songs that will do it---but I was actually doing ok tonight. I even made it past cry-time. I'm sorry, I just feel like an idiot. I'm 40 years old. These memories are from 20 freakin years ago. I just really really loathe myself right now for letting it affect me.