((((((((bananasarecool))))))))

The problem for me is that certain thoughts seem to get "stuck" in my head. Maybe it's because during the day I have to actively repress a lot of my depressive thinking in order to function/appear normal to others, and then at night when I don't have any reason to repress them, they go into overdrive. What helps for me is if I can't sleep, I stop trying. Lying there thinking about how awful life is is simply not a way I want to spend my time. I journal a lot, but I tend to resist actually doing it -- my counsellor says that writing is my coping mechanism and probably has been for most of my life -- because when the depression is at its worst and I need to release those thoughts really badly, that's when I'm physically incapable of getting dressed, much less lifting a pen. But eventually, if I don't write things down -- if I don't find some way to get them OUT -- then I start to feel like I'm going to burst. It's a little like relieving a little bit of pressure in my head, and once it's all on paper, outside of myself, I find I can usually get to sleep. And if I can't, then I turn the light back on and pick up writing where I left off, sometimes repeating everything I just said.

Maybe what you need is some way to get those thoughts out of yourself? Is there anything creative you like to do, like writing or music or art? Maybe you could start a journal or a blog, or if you have a T (or anyone else you trust) you could write them letters, which you don't necessarily have to send (if you're in a pinch you can also PM me whenever you like ). The other thing you might try is exercise -- I like to go to the gym and "beat" the depression out of myself, which basically means exhausting myself physically so that by the time bedtime rolls around, I'm too tired to think. If you find any way of physically expressing how you're thinking or feeling, you may get just enough relief from your thoughts to fall asleep.

Keep us posted on how things are going for you.