I can't leave. If I go into the city where my friends and family live, that'll put me an hour's drive away from work (ie, double the time it takes now), without a vehicle (I don't have my own so I drive my parents' car to the village where I work). They also wouldn't let me leave. I am too valuable as a babysitter/chauffeur/cleaner/homework helper and even though I'm legally an adult, my parents still have almost total control over my life. I'm just not in a situation where I can change that right now. I have more independence when I'm at school because I'm an ocean away, but when I come home I'm pretty much at their beck and call 24/7. Nothing I do is right. Nothing I do is good enough. Whenever I want to do anything for myself -- even if it doesn't actually inconvenience them -- I get anything from an annoyed sigh to a lecture. I love my parents, I really do, but living with them gets harder and harder every day (not to mention I have 3 younger siblings who drive me insane). We're going to get along much better when I'm not dependent on or living with them, but for now I am so there's not a whole lot I can do.

The other thing I'm having trouble adjusting to is sharing space with five other people. It's almost impossible to isolate myself like this, and with my depression if I can't be on my own for a while, it gets worse and worse until eventually I just crash. I need that space, that breathing room. Today at work I managed to spend six hours working entirely by myself and it was the most peace I've had since I got home from school. At school I live in a building with 500 other people, but at least I have a room that is solely mine, that hardly anyone else ever sets foot in -- at home I have my own room, but they will barge in no matter what I'm doing, no matter what time it is, and expect me to drop everything for them. I NEED TO BE LEFT ALONE.