... tell her you have several points you wish to discuss with her, and then go through them one by one. Don't let her distract you from your course with changing the topic, hurting your feelings, etc. Just politely listen to her response before moving on to your next point. Before moving on, say, "is there more?" And if she has more to say on that point, let her say it, then ask again, "is there more?" until she is all done on that point. Then move on to the next point you want to make. If she gets off topic and is addressing points further down on your list, politely interrupt and say, "I want to discuss that too--it's on my list. But I want to finish up on ________, so can you hold that thought? Now, about this issue..." Just keep the meeting moving so you make sure to cover all the points you have to make. If she responds to your points with something blaming, off-base, or whatever, point out her defensiveness and blaming behavior to her...