Kiya,

Why does your Mom talk to your Grandma alllllll the time? This just seems kind of mixed up to me. Does she ever pressure you in a verbal or kind of non-verbal way to connect with your Grandma? You don't have to. But, having said this, I totally understand having experienced similar feelings accompanied by shaking after reconnecting with family of origin.

You did what you felt you had to do, connecting with your Grandma. Now you can say the deed is done and now you are comforting yourself. You never have to go again. It's okay to take care of yourself. You will get back on schedule with meds and right eating soon.

Well done Kiya.