Good morning it is sunny here in my neck of the woods.
Ther e is a big music fest going on in town for 3 days.
My car is in the garage and I have a banger of a headache.
Too much sugar day before that sweet husband brought home sticky buns two days ago and I ate 3 big ones the house is about void of good food since my car has been sitting at a garage and I have been sick.
Funny husband stops at the store for a few things and can only seem to buy one or two things in volume.
We have 4 boxes of orange juice.
I was happy to be out of starch and flour and he noticed we were low a few weeks ago and came home with two 5 pound bags of flour and a box of bisquit mix and 11pints of strawberrys. There would of been 12 but he seen a friend and gave one away.
Meanwhile I am starting to use up the nice packages of country ham that was given to us in December from a business man.
I have one back of chicken and no veggies and frozen strawberrys and 4 eggs left . I just ate 2 eggs. There's a few other things around but my point is and I do not know why I am saying it is that I am eating badly and suffering more for it.
I am really writing to say thank you for the 2 notes I got yesterday about my complaining about my family.
I might of gotten more but it looks like my Yahoo account is no longer free and I can not down load my yahoo notes. I will see what Husband can do with it when he has a few minutes.
I hate him to see that I have written to a group of people I do not know like hanging out your bad under wear.
He was brought up to keep things to your self.
Thats only one reason why I have not seen a therapist and the second reason he is the bread winner of the family and unless he see's a great need for me to pay some one to listen to me complain when I have him to talk with there is no need for me to see a therapist. I do think I would love to talk to one at times. I have lost so called friend ships over telling people my problems with my family because they can not understand how complex they can be and give me jugdemental advise based on things they have no knowledge of and I have trouble taking that.
But what I started to write about if my memory holds up is a letter of sorts that you print up and just fill in the blanks and send one every week to your mother.
I need more Ideas but it can start Hello mom,
I hope you are find, I am good, The weather is nice and that can be changed to rain or snow or what ever the weather is.
My cat is good etc.
Just a very simple letter with nothing real to say in it.
I need more idea's of course.
But it would be a very boring letter to read.
The only problem is my mother thinks every letter deserves a phone call from her and thats what I want to avoid.
If she does not hear from me she calls and if she does hear from me she calls.
I am trying to think of a way to keep in touch with her with out giving her pieces of me she can grind up into hamberger.
My letter are also read and taken by my sisters.
So thats another reason I have to be carefull about what I write.
I know my family my mother my sisters have been very hurt by others but I still can not allow them to continue to hurt me with out any remorse . My mom is never sorry she hurts me and thinks that the next time she calls no matter what she saids she thinks we should go on the next hurtfull conversation.
I am getting off.
I wish my husband would allow me to have our phone number changed.
I can try to continue to use the answer machine to screen calls but that takes pratice and I have friends who will not leave a message.
Every one have a good day. I must take care of my headache.