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(JD) · Jun 14, 2009, 10:12 AM

((((Kiya)))) You're doing better! I know that might not be what you want to hear, but it does appear that is the truth.

There comes a time when the patient begins to perform the good self care that the therapist has been modeling and teaching the patient. Not always having to contact the T to survive through a bad spot is a good thing, though it surely doesn't feel that way. But that's the difference. You sound like you aren't always running on feelings, but the rational thinking is kicking in for you at times.... It isn't perfect, but it will be better as you engage it. You'll find that you do survive.
It's the feelings that make us unsure, or doubt our needs and our worth. But rational thought allows us to realize, Yes, this is scary but I'm getting through it even without the T's contact. (And it often does begin with the patient making some contact, but working through without the T responding immediately.)

I do hope you discuss this progress with your T. There are many emotions that go along with this, sometimes anger is one of them! But it's part of the healing path. I'm so proud of you! (PS you won't always be at this point, but may go back and forth a few times, as part of the process.)

Therapy and healing is hard work, isn't it!?