Okay, so yeah I talk to myself. I can't get back to sleep. I am tired but my mind is racing. I am upset with this kid but it's turning into what can I find to obsess about? Hmm, the spot on son's car that doesn't look good as we are painting it for him. Ahhh, money, ahh, a bike for him. Paying summer tuition. I am so wound up. Trying to breath, taking my drugs. This doesn't feel very good at all. I think I forgot my tummy pill too cause it hurts. Part of me is excited to think this daughter will leave and stop being my problem. Have already redecorated her room in my mind. Is that bad or what? I am into kid's stuff right now so I would set up a play room for when hubby tutors and kids visit. She has hurt me a lot I guess. I know 17 year olds act out. The thing is I do not think she is the least bit attached to me. She could give a flying fruit loop about me. Okay, that's fine so let's just stop the pretending and move on. I will love her but I am happy to keep that in my heart. I can't make her do the right things. Why doesn't her boyfriend's family come and move her whole room? They have been brain-washing her into the welfare mentality and every other word is _u_k. errrrr. I just had a friend fix her car she ruined. I didn't hear a thank you. She is paying him directly. I didn't hear a thank you that she has been allowed to drive her sister's car everywhere she wants. I am crabby and can't sleep. Someone sing me a cyber lulaby and rub my back?