I must be out of my mind. I have done everything possible for my.....don't know I guess now ex. bf. I have found him a new doc, new meds,which I'm sure is most of the problem, trying to find the right combination. I won't go into too much, it's in all my past discussions. Anyway, I took him on a cruise for his birthday, we have been going to counseling together also, but I guess it's one of those times the meds may not be just right, because I've been left....he just walked out on me the day we got back from the cruise. You would think that's bad enough, to leave the ship and then for him to tell me it's over and he walks out on me....but he left me 3000 miles away from home....well I guess his home. I moved in with him last October and he walked out on me and told me he didn;t want this relationship anymore and I'm not to go back to "his" home. So he left me on the other side of the country. Maybe I deserve this for hanging in there with him and hoping things would change. I get the whole BP thing and I would have stayed and worked on everything with him, but I guess this it it. I mean I spent alot of money for his birthday cruise to Alaska and then the day he returns he goes back East and leaves me stranded. I am soooo hurt I can't think straight right now. How does this happen. I guess I should have taken your past suggestions and left him because as many of you said it doesn't sound as much like BP as it does abuse. I hate to sound like a broken record, but I still cannot believe it, though I shouldn't be surprised. Finding him online for affairs, him lying to my face on several occassions about what he's been doing and all the while meeting female "friends". I even fell yesterday and got hurt and went back to our cabin to put ice on my hip, he said he would go and bring dinner back for us, he was gone about 45 mins when I decided to hobble and there he was h aving dinner with someone else. Is love really that blind or am I really that stupid. Now here I am.....I'm about to lose it myself with all that he has put me through. I really am in need of some support and advice.....I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!