Hi TWill



Wondering and examing oneself brings forth many answers . I did not hear about ADHD till a therapist brought it to my "attention" LOL as two possible diagnosises to Look at For my accumulating projects . this was Spring of 2004. I also could not keep on a topic . I pent lots of time describing past situations to a new theraoist and inevitably would see omething new and spent lots of time on past relationships, Time and time again I was struggling to send out Bills to my clients. once again I was trying to adress it. The ones I did design work for and purchased materials and spent extra time I would have the biling probem with .

. It is now a HUGE problem with a client I bill and do not get paid weekly. Im behind an entire year . Im lost and overwhelmed with it because I keep putting things off , plunk down reciepts and in the monent think i will get back to it but Im on the the next thing. i always have good intentions.

My life Is a mess because of this.

Oh.. the two diagnosises..

OCD and ADD .

From what Im learning most therapists that treat adults do not Look for ADHD because its usually caught in childhood. Since its not being looked for its common to diagnosis those with ADHD as haveing a personality disorder . Antitisocial , Narcicstic , and Borderline peronality disorder are common. I belive Aspergers is also similar to Borderline personality in some respects.

Page 186 in driven to distraction.

"we have seen a number of cases in out practice , and have had reports from others , of patients diagnoised as borderline who in fact have ADD,
The practical signififcance of this is that the treatment for ADD is quite different from the treatment of borderline personality disorder. "

this was written in 1994 .

the next therapist I saw who was an intern ........ (as was the one who suggested I get tested for ADHD ) { I was with them for the school term fall winter spring .}

.........must not have followed up . I mentioned I woud like to look at ADHD . She handed me the DSM . I skimmed it in the office and . said I have these problems but I didn't think It was that severe to warrant drugs and i didn't want to take meds.

a few weeks later she handed me the BPD diagnosis . mean while I was saying I need to work on interupting people I can't stop and i think it bothers them and one time I just stopped talking and i asked her if she could follow me .
And she said..NO.

She had some books she wanted me to look at . I ended up doing research on BPD and ended up on a suport forum for those who lived with a person with BPD and I could not belive what I was hearing. and i didn't get anywhere with what i was struggling wit and the project kept accumulation . I was hopijg to have a garge sale .
and that got WAY out of hand...

I met someone on the BPD support forum and explained i was not sure I had it.

they decided I did . they even told me I was dissociating on the board .
I didn't know you could tell by a persons writting they were dissociating.
They must have had phycic powers. Later when i asked them why they disscused my situation with another friend of mine .

they said "You were dissociating Patricia .. evryone was concerned about you."

everyone?.......
Gosh, I wonder how many people he disscused me with ..

I guess some poeple did not like that I expressed my dislike of others making fun, tearing others down, calling them sluts . patients not partners . slobs , birdbrains . and vampires ..and they needed to make sure they didn't reproduce and make check list to see if they entered their life and go no contact if they showed up . garlic was recomended..

so i ruffled a few feathers by being horrified at this treatment .

He told me ..Patricia you were dissociating and if you don't agree theres nothing more to be disscussed.

WOW. ! I managed to speack up a bit .. and I did a good job. I don't think that swayed him one iota.

he got real mean with someone else and said .
"your dissociating man!"

This person has ADHD ..
When did it become a crime to dissociate?

.

Ive gone off here a bit but to show you how it can be damaging .and i need to get this off my chest and my heart and out of my brain.

When people disscociate they can't help it.
I do hope this person will do some more study and take some care with using that against others in the future.

Twill
Let your therapist know whats hapening . day dreaming , seeing something move . or just getting side tracked and starring off into space thinking about somethig thats connected to whats being talked about is not blanking out because you are trying to side step something painful like represed trauma.
But see how easy it is to appear like your avoiding a topic but just inspired or redirected and next thing you know you forget what the original topic was.

this feels good to share ,, Hope it helps you too..

Patricia