Patricia,

HOW can you dissociate on a board? I'm struggling here just trying to wrap my brain around that concept. Wow I'm not seeing how 'tis possible to do such.

I have my own theories on dissociating since my therapist was so kind to sketch it all out on paper how DID works. Though she has repeatedly said I don't have DID, but that I dissociate because its something I learned in childhood to escape abuse. However I have entertained the thought that possibly I do have multiple personalities because some friends have experienced disbelief that I has Aspergers while others are quite certain yeah that all makes sense because you act so weird. Like maybe one of me has Aspergers and the other doesn't? Its just a theory though and I'm not sure its that complex for me. I have noticed over the years a slew of people who swear they know me who I don't know who the heck they are and used to find folded up slips of paper with peoples names and ph# on it and I had no idea where the paper came from, who that person was etc. But then again I have traumatic brain injury so am I merely forgetful or do I dissociate outside of home when I swear that I only dissociate in the privacy of my own home?

What a mystery! I do get sensory overload I think from the TBI though Aspergers is known for sensory overloads too. So comparing apples to apples it seems. But when I get overwhelmed with having to make a big decision, too much anxiety, noise, bright lights etc after a day of that I come home and dissociate in the bathroom for 1-3 hours. Its a ritual. When I was working I had to dissociate for 3 hours after I got home just like some people come home and have a beer to relax. My brain was overloaded on a daily basis.

I don't know that it is a crime to dissociate. It almost seems like a normal healthy person should from time to time. I also feel like I have stronger than most because I apparently dissociate so well, but I digress. Therapist says most people do dissociate like when they daydream while driving long stretches of a familiar road. I did tell my therapist that dissociating was fun. Will that be held against me? I wonder if I have ever dissociating in front of her without my knowledge? Its such a private activity, just like handflapping and rocking with Aspergers is something I trained myself to do at home only. Though I have been caught doing it in public and was not aware.

There's a part of me that, after therapist explained what DID was, that wanted to say what a crock of BS. Seriously how can someone be more than one person? Sure people can act different in various scenarios but she was saying how she had talked to multiples during client sessions. Like where she's like ok I need to talk to so and so and set something straight with them then the other person appears. Weird. I'm not sure it exists more than its just psychobabble for professional daydreamers. I'm not sure I see a connection between dissociation and ADD though. Neuropsych insists I've always been ADD most likely. But I know myself the major inattentiveness didn't happen till after the brain injury.

Another thought is I have severe pain that went untreated or undertreated for years so now no pain treatments seem to work that well. I suspect I dissociate also as my own method of dealing with severe chronic pain and that that is why I now dissociate so much. From pain and from emotional issues and sensory overload. Because nothing else works and dissociating is cheaper than prescription drugs. I need to discuss this with therapist to see if its logical or just blowing smoke. If I'm babbling I apologize in advance. Others seem to have problems following my train of thought and might call it rambling. Its more like ADD though.