I lost my brother on April 20th he was 42 rather quickly. May 2nd I losy a good friend also my sister-in-laws trin brother he was 41 but he took his own life. With the other issues in my life right now I feel like I am unable to grieve over them the proper way. My brother was my s. abuser so that makes it more complicated. I am unsure how I should feel about him so that does make it harder. I visit his grave every week and place flower and leave hin a cigarette. I have not seen him in 10 years. so it is real complicated. All the while I am dealing with PTSD from an assault in October. Right now I feel like I am not true to myself because I can not grieve. I am wondering if anyone else had too many life events at once that stops you from being able to grieve over a loved one or in my case 2 people to grieve over. The other reason I find it hard to grieve for my brother is my mother. There some questions surrounding his death, so her way of handling it is anger at his estranged wife. That is constantly being projected out to me and other and I feel like it is holding me back from the grieving process. Any suggestions?