I know it's the BP and the meds need to be changed, that's why I have stayed for so long and I would continue, but I feel he needs to want the help also. I'm still here in WA. and trying to figure out my next step. I haven't heard from him, but our therapist called me today and my bf (ex) has cancelled all future appts. I am hoping to talk to his psych. doc tomorrow to be sure he continues there. He at least was willing to go and take meds. I hope he is ok. I heard from his Mom, she left me a msg. and it sounds as though he's not home yet, though she has heard from him and doesn't sound worried. I still love him very much, if that doesn't sound to crazy, even with all that has happened. Maybe our vacation was too much for him. I'd still be by his side if he had let me, am I making too much of what happened and should I be more supportive and realize it's the BP or at some point is that not to be used as an excuse to do these things. I reach out to you all because I've received such good advice. Maybe I should have listened to you sooner, but it's difficult when you love someone. I have 2 children with special needs and I wouldn't give up on them, but the reality is they wouldn't have left me 3000 miles from home. Is it selfish of me to take a step back and take care of me for a while, or am I not being supportive enough?