(((pupp))) you're stronger than your urges, you can stay safe I believe in it. Sorry if I get a little technical, but... You don't want to take more tramadol (unless physical pain kills you) and you definitelly don't want to mix it with alcohol. Been there, done that, trust me, no matter how low you feel, you don't want this. I'm sorry about your health, is there any way you could speed up meeting with the docs?
You can tell me about your family if you want to, feel free to PM if you need, i'll be online for most of the next 8 hours.