How easy it is to justify our desires and ignore our own basic needs of safety, love, protection, stability, honesty etc...
Imagine yourself with this man in 6 months, 12 months, 2 years time. Where will your relationship be? Revolving around drugs and grog and living the consequences of choices that are influenced by them - a little like your family now? A situation repeated. It is all choice at some point tho. Sometimes the choice was so early in the piece that it was simply missed. You know already where the path of grog and drugs will take you - love will NOT OVERCOME it. Not to say love will not exist in it, but the darkness of grog and drugs will mask it till it is unrecognisable to those living in the dark. You know this.
I understand the feeling of aimlessness, drifting, feeling at the whim of fate, sailing on an open sea in a sinking boat with no sign of land. The only way to change this is to start making conscious choices for your life. None of this is to say that the man you mentioned is not a nice person, but he is in his own sinking boat. You can't tell him where land is till you find it yourself. Two people in a sinking boat will only weigh it down and make it sink faster... But you don't want to sink, you want to sail on to better lands so stay in your own boat and ... choose the bucket and start bailing. Yes, you've done this before, but this time it will be different. This time, after making the first choice to bail out your boat, you will make a second choice; you will choose to fix your sails so that you can catch the right wind that will take you to the land of contentment, happiness and peace. This is possible. Think of the type of life you want, of what your heart needs (and I don't mean rich, living in NY and hobnobbn w Paris Hilton). I mean stuff like being true to yourself, having passion (for anything and/or everything), finding and honing that creative spark that is trying to get out, enjoying things like the peacefulness of simply being, find out what it is you believe in then walk your talk... Once you start making conscious choices to follow a path to your own betterment, you will no longer be drifting the whims of fate. Instead you will captaining your ship on the ocean of destiny. Sometimes it can be as simple as making the choice have a smile on your face today, regardless of whatever else is going on...you'll be surprised how infectious a smile can be and amazingly cheap!

Good luck to you Shez, and may the blessed winds of change blow your way.
Love, light and peace

kp