http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=103621

Maybe you need the touch of the master's hand to show you what you can be. Since it seems that nobody showed you, as a child. Me too, btw. And I relate to your post. Nothing I could do could ever be good enough. And I was always the one who got in trouble if there was even a minor conflict. Mom said I should know better because I was oldest, but really she favored my sister because my sister was willing to be like mom. I wanted to live my own life. My family didn't like that much.

Definitely a topic to talk about in therapy. My T has been pointing out that I was the one in my family who was not willing to be like them and perpetuate the patterns. I was affected by my family, but I'm determined to live my own life. Even though I still get stuck a lot.

Dysfunctional systems resist change by calling changers bad, selfish, and wrong. They will take the side of whoever perpetuates the patterns.