Hi everyone, this is my first post ,pleased to meet you all..Feel surprisingly awkward and nervous writing all this for the first time but here goes..

I'm a 34yr old male and for as long as I can remember I have been sexually aroused by women's clothes and shoes (particularly boots)..I know this is not uncommon but more recently I have become particularly turned on by shemales and crossdressers...I fantasise most of the time about dressing up myself, which sometimes I manage to do ,but my living arrangement (ended up back at the parents..) makes it very rare...I don't feel feminine when I dress, but I just love the way the clothes feel and how it feels to walk in heels...The problem I've got is that I don't understand why this has all happened and why I get turned on fantasising about shemales/crossdressers and watching related porn...I don't feel the slightest sexual attraction to men, but I would probably have sex with a crossdresser...

I really want to be able to have a normal intimate relationship with a woman but I always feel that I'm being dishonest because I know the mixed up rubbish going through my head..this just makes me feel guilty and ashamed all of the time which affects every relationship I have..As a result I have ended up with no friends or life apart from going to work..

If anyone out there has gone through anything remotely similar or can offer any advice or different ways of looking at things then please,please ,get in touch..

Sorry if this went on a bit and is a bit fragmented, but I found it harder than I thought to put into words the confusion in my head...

Thanks for taking the time to read this...