Totally agree with this Doc. Good post.

We also need to recognize that sometimes people may intend to be supportive but what they say at that moment may not come out sounding that way due to their own issues, or others might read something into their words that really bes not there. In general we should try to give each other the benefit of the doubt (as much as possible, given that each of us has our own afflictions to deal with and the inability to trust or a lot of baggage of being dogpiled may go with that for some of us) and respond with neutral language whenever we can. E.g., "sorry but right now X and Y don't really feel supportive to me" would be a lot more helpful and informative than "you're sick, how dare you attack me you psycho" or whatever. In other words don't assume that everything we read that does not "sit well" with us constitutes an "attack" or an attempt to "attack". Recognize that 9/10 of the time it will just be a clash of viewpoints or attitudes or approaches and not something personal. A lot of times it bes really obvious when someone bes trying to get personal digs in. But not always. And sometimes we read that into things where the other person has not meant to do that at all. When in doubt, ask for clarification. Say stuff like, "when you said X, i heard Y, did you really intend to communicate Y or did i misunderstand you?" Those kinds of exchanges can be really productive and healthy for us to have.