Happy belated birthday to your daughter. I just want to say that I too have these issue's with my husband family. Take it from me you don't need those people to be in your daughters life. They cant drive 20 minutes to see your daughter then they don't care enough for her and don't need to be around her. Don't let those people make you feel this away. You need to be strong for your kids. Children do see what's going on, even if they are little they can be just as affected by the situation as you are. I care so much about my daughter having family. Sense I didn't have a lot of contact with my family growing up. I wanted that to be different with my daughter. I bent over backwards for my husbands family. Making sure my daughter could have a lot of exposer to them. In the end they don't see my daughter any more. They cannot produce the type of family I believe my daughter deserves. So she is better off not being around them. They haven't done anything for my daughter but they dragged me down and wasted my time and money. You need to take care of your daughter and yourself. Do not let their lack of effort bother you. Be strong, and good luck to you.