I rejected girly things for years.
Then I ended up with a therapist who feels comfortable in what she wears--feminine clothes--skirts, tops, shoes, jewelry, but no make up. As I connected with her my feelings around my gender softened and my feelings around not fitting in and therefore rejecting feminine clothes softened too.
I found myself looking at different clothes when I shopped. Just looked for a long time. Now I have added some feminine clothes that I feel comfortable in. (At first I bought things that made me think of my therapist.)

Maybe there is some middle ground for you so you can feel better?