(((pupp)))
of course you are going to feel like crap if your family is abusing you. instead of turning more hatred inwards, you need to seek help to get out of that situation. i dont know how old you are, but i do know there will be services targeted at your age group to make sure you can stay in a safe environment. they can probably also link you up with professional support to help you through this.
stop battling, pupp. start accepting help to get you through a situation that most people need help with.