I repeatedly ended and recanted throughout the 2.5 years until finally my lover began a relationship with someone else but neglected to tell me. He just quit getting together with me but kind of waffled along. I pointedly ask several times if he was moving on but he'd never just say it. To my shame, I didn't take the hint but hung on until I saw his status in Facebook as "in a relationship"...obviously not with me b/c he was making it public (which of course hurt more since our 'relationship' was always hidden). Logic tells me that what i have with my husband if 100 times superior to what my lover could have offered but try telling that to your emotions. It never could have worked anyway. I am making progress moving on for sure and determined to take a 'mind over emotion' approach at this point (condition my mind not to allow my emotions to take control). I think the biggest problem in my marriage is our sex life which got off to a rocky start from the first night. I'm in my midlife crisis (went back to university, lost 40lbs, got a nice haircut, took up long distance running, doing weight training, etc.) and my libido suddenly peaked. I made a deliberate decision to test the waters with this professor--it seemed like my last chance to experience what I craved-hot passionate sex. Not very commendable of me, I am well aware. But don't fear, I'm paying the price for it now. I have almost forgiven him for letting me linger those last 5 months (after all, there's no honor among theives) and I'm willing myself to be philosophical. Heartbreak is nothing new and in my case, well deserved.