Dotbar,

I disagree with JerryMichelle. A marriage is a lifelong commitment to another. As you well know, clear, open and honest communication is the only way a marriage will last.

Not telling him - isn't exactly lying but it isn't clear, open or honest, either. The main thing is - What if, by some means... he found out by some other third party who isn't you? The trust issues that would be generated by this would be devastating to your marriage and likely the results wouldn't be satisfying.

However, if he found out FROM YOU - then it's certain that he can still trust you, even though he believes he still can at this moment, no? Every day that you wake up, and brush your teeth in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, you'll not see your true self.

Personally, I couldn't live a lie like that. Telling him most definitely wouldn't be easy. It's likely it will be painful for both you and him. If the two of you love each other, even an obstacle such as this can be overcome - it'll take work, dedication, heart & soul as well as a good deal of time but it IS possible and given my opinion, I recommend this to be the path you should take.

Sincerely,

-Gleak