This makes a lot of sense. No time better than the present to work on things to improve your life. We are reaching out to you and you have a reaction which keeps us back from you. If you can feel safe then you won't feel the need to push us away. I would suggest that you work on feeling safe here. To do this be aware when this reflex happens (you reach out, we reach back, you get afraid and you do something to push us back). When you are aware that it is happening be aware of what you are thinking and feeling. The next step after this is to be aware of the messages that are popping up for you. ("people are dangerous", etc.). Then really think about these messages and ask yourself if they apply in this situation............. Feeling safe and trusting is a step by step endeavor.