Whew.........I bet your mediator is dreading the next session with "HIM" ! What a 'control freak'. When the children are with YOU, he cannot make your house rules. While I agree consistency is best for children, his restrictions about Doctors, medication, etc seem absurd ! Children must never be used as "pawns", and it appears that all his thinking is based on "what his contributions are" vs. what yours are. From ONLY reading what he sent you - and not knowing anything else about the situation - his main focus appears to be monetary and that he "FEELS" he is "SUPERIOR" to everyone. Perhaps he is superior in EGO, but I think you are by far the smartest.......letting him know that all matters will be handled in mediation !!!! Fantastic decision!!!!! IMHO - he was probably hoping to have a response from you that he could "use against you" in mediation.

I can imagine that you had difficulty sleeping last night , and hope that you feel better after getting some sleep. Again, IMHO - if he keeps up with documents such as the one you posted, the mediator is going to get a more and more negative feeling about him as time goes on. Do you have another appt with the mediator set up? I hope so, and I certainly would never agree to the medical issues he wants to be his way or no way ! I would also hope that somewhere in all this, you have requested that this "Wendy" not be allowed to make decisions about ANYTHING concerning your children (reading between the lines I think she is a live-in with a child). ALtho she actually COULD be a wonderful person, who is really a benefit to your children by being there (women usually don't want to see ANY child hit or abused).

Keep a journal, keep things as civil as possible, continue to keep your children's best interest first and foremost, and I think you will be OK ! He is showing his true colors, and mediators are usually pretty smart people - they will see him for what he is.

If your son uses any of those ethnic references in the future, I would casually and light-heartedly ask "Oh - my - thats not nice - where on earth did u learn that?" Then a nice open talk about people being different, how would he feel if someone called him, or his sis, or his Mom or Dad a name might help undo the damage.....without bringing Dad into the conversation.

I am so sorry you are going thru all this - and more so that the children are being used by their Dad ! IF your daughter ever got hit by dear ole Dad, and it left marks, I would call the police ASAP and have it all documented with pictures.

From everything I have read on this forum - I have always felt that your main interest is your children. Keep up the good work with your Mothering of them, be their safe place to fall when life gets tough. You have a lot of support here !!!!