How would I get just as much done if I didn't rush around doing it? I was pacing myself, I let myself sit down for a bit but that was helping my friends to fill out forms and figure out what they should do, then take them to places they need to go and call people, speak to people and other stuff. I know I should let myself have a break once in a while, but something deep down said I had to do it. If not for them, for myself.

I don't care if it's hard on me at the time, until I sit down and feel it all punch me in the gut. I'm even more ill now and Connor has food poisoning from salmon yesterday, which I also ate but didn't eat much so I'm not nearly as bad as him but still shouldn't be putting so much pressure on myself and so much strain on my body and stuff, but... I just... I don't know I just feel like dying.