Dammit, I just started crying out of nowhere. I feel like I'm being such a burden to my kids right now, putting them through this. I feel like I should just hand them over to their dad and walk out of their lives for good. I'm not doing them any good right now. I can barely enjoy my time with them because I worry that the ex will deem it unsuitable and try to hurt me with it. I can't even talk to them openly about what's going on, because he finds out.

My kids don't deserve this, and I brought it all on myself. I was trying to help them, and all I'm doing is hurting them. They come to me and say things, and then they're dad says they tell him that they don't like what we talk about?

I've got stupid 8th grade graduation in 3 hours and I have to see him and who knows how many of his "extended family" while he puts on a phony act of being civil towards me. Then I have to sit for 2 hours with him tomorrow while he tears me down.

I don't know how I can get through this.