I read both of your letters. I can't tell you what to do. I know that when I've written letters like the one you wrote where I did not hide my thoughts I felt good at first but then no one would talk to me especially those who are depressed or having a hard time themselves. That is not saying that you don't need to resolve this somehow though. One thing for sure that I suggest is to read that letter (the one not hiding anything) to a chair and picture your mother and really read it with all your emotions in it. You could also try this. After you are done go and sit in the chair where you pictured your mother and imagine what she would say back. Then go from chair to chair in a dialogue with her. This may help you some, I don't know. Just an idea I'll throw out.

I do understand how you feel hurt by your mother's comments and behaviors toward you and sorry she is not sensitive to your feelings. It can be so frustrating and sad. I also think that maybe getting a book on assertiveness may help you, too. But still, I must warn, not everyone will listen to our feelings and thoughts on matters. It doesn't mean our feelings or thoughts are not valid, of course. You deserve to be heard. I think you could use a counselor to see for support and more help with dealing with the people in your life. You may have some in your area that you could see for free. Some cities have free counselors.

I hope you'll keep posting and reading here and "talking" about things, too. Take care, CQ


<font color=purple>"In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule." Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil</font color=purple>