why can't you just tell? (i'm being cheeky here, pupp - not meaning to stir you ).

but it's like - just to take an example - when i offered you a hug a few pages back, you replied that you were unsure about receiving it. that is ok.

i guess a lot of us have found it useful to identify why we feel ambivalent about those sorts of things. for me, it really is a fear of intimacy (or used to be. i love hugs now. i demand them from everyone, gimme gimme!! ).

so maybe us guessing isn't helping you, or is "annoying" you. i would be interested to know why you find it hard to accept something like a hug, which is given in support. is it the physical element, or is the fact that support itself is being offered? do you think you can break it down to help me understand?

eta: just wanted to add - i don't want to waste your time (or mine) trying to offer support or help in a way that isn't useful to you. if you would prefer me not to reply here at all, then i would really appreciate if you could tell me that. i won't be offended, i'll just see it as pupp being assertive about her needs/wants and think that's a great thing! but if it is ok with you for me to keep posting here, please try to understand that i'm only trying my best and i will most probably say things which you find "annoying"? i'm not doing it to hurt you, it's just that i don't have a clear picture of how i can best support you just yet. so i'll also need you to cut me some slack - appreciate that the sentiment is there, even if i'm wildly of the mark.