I too am new to this site...but dealing with a wife and daughter w/ ADD in not new. My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years. We completed some VERY successful (but difficult) couple counseling that helped us to both better understand AND work with our differences. I've read a number of excellent books that helped me deal/ cope with both my wife and my daughter. The key has been to recognize that ADD gives, and ADD takes away...not always in understandable ways...but I have found that giving is so much more than the taking away. (This is Dougspeak for the positives far outweighing the negatives). A big part of the positives has been my changed perception of the negatives (the piles of stuff, bills that don't get paid, etc.) as relatively small when compared to the blessing my wife and daughter truly are in my life. My wife is the most caring and compassionate person I know. She is extremely intelligent (her IQ is somewhere above 130) and is moments away from her masters in teaching. But there is a trade off...its one I'd make any day...boy if I could only remember that when the other stuff seems to overwhelm me Is this to help you or help me? Anyway, I hope that you are more able to seek the positives, accept the "stuff" and love yourself first and always!