Thanks, this has helped a bit. Well a lot. Because yes I fear of loosing control of everything. Of letting anyone in. And when I do I so fear that they will leave and hurt me. And I can't handle that. So so rarely do I expose myself that I live life.
But I do not have intense outbreaks.
And am very reliable.
I just have very many reasons to not trust and fear what I do.
From experiance.