I feel for you and your mom we seem to have some stuff in common.
Age and interest in life.
I read your Bio.
I am sorry your mom is very ill and you are in pain over it.
I am always afraid my mom is ill.
So if I hear one day she has cancer that will take her life it will not suprise me at all.
She complains about strange aches and pains but will not take care of her self or see a doctor.
I got very involved by telephone about a year and 1\2 ago after I learn her home was condemned and she had no place to call home. She had places to stay she refused.
No one in the family called to tell me.
When I found out.
I was on the phone talking to every one in the city and found out she was on the phone calling every one about her 22 sick homeless animals.
I was told by a social worker that if she can call all those people about homes for her animals she can care for her self.
She was extremely sick in her mind and was taken to the Hospital but my youngest sister removed her from hospital and then she had a sick suicidal women on her hands that she could not keep at her home or help so she dropped her off in the town she came from at night by her self.
I was so worried but too sick to go up to PA at the time and take care of stuff from that end.
My aunt her sister took charge and would not talk with the Social workers , family or the rest of the city that was trying to get care for my mother. My aunt even went to the extreme to go against any good we did to did to try to get her some medical help for mental illness.
My baby brother took on the finances paid all the back unpaid bills and fixed up the house.
Got her back into the city condemned house she would not leave the yard and set up a tent city in the yard untill he did.
The city police force and social workers drove by her yard often to check on her and I was able to call them to check on things. She hated any one trying to help.
Most the animals were put sleep.
But it did not solve the major problem.
Her animal population is growing again for the 3rd time .
One sister gives her pets that are not fixed.
My mom is sick and so stuborn about getting real help.
She will end up in a bad situation again.
One social worker told me that was the situation she was using to control us all that year.
Another social worker told me she was most afraid of me because if I had to come all the way up there as sick as I am I will take legal action and she will be put in a hospital .
But I do not think I could even do that because evey one would work against me.
My youngest brother rarely sees her he just pays her bills and sends her money. He does not want her to receive mental health care he is against it.
The older brother checks on her and gives her meals at times but he is not well mentally and he is an acoholic and burned his brain on drugs and his wife has an eating disorder and other illness they also have a 4 year old.
Both sisters keep in touch with her and they fight all the time with her but both sisters are sick and very poor.
They are very confused as to what would help her. They can't even help them selves .
One sister can not handle things and just disappears when things are bad and the other one says if we put mom in the hospital because she threatens to kill her self it is unloving and like stabbing her.
I tried to get my moms brothers and some other sisters to help her who they wanted nothing to do with her.
She has 7 brothers and sisters.
I called one of her sisters who is a nurse and she did go to see her and kept a watch on her.
I got threaten by other family members like they were going to take me to court for some thing not sure what that was all about. One Aunt was going to call TV stations ?
It was in the news papers on front page and my mother never called me for help. I got a hold of her twice calling all over town to find her.
She would go visit people and people would tell me what time to call the house to reach her.
She would never remember that I called her.
People were so suprised to find out that talked to every one in the city who was involved in trying to help her.
It is so sad I want so much for her.
Her life could be so much better.
She won't leave her little area to visit a nice place.
She blows money very badly so she does not have the best of stuff. She will buy out a whole yard sale or 200 pair of plastic shoes because they are 1.00 each. People take disadvantage of this and sell her every thing.
Thats another reason why I do not want her calling and talking for hours my brother ho joined the military to get away from town at a very young age pays the main bills for her.
I love my mother very much but I can not help her if she will not except my help in the way I can help.
I want her to see a good doctor I even wanted to pay for it because that is an excuse she uses no money.
I had 3 yard sales so I could send her to a doctor and then my dad told me my mom had 3000. from her mothers estate in the same month I had 3 yard sales and my dad said my mom just spent the money on nothing worth spending it on. So I never sent her the money .I sent it to my baby brother instead when he and his wife bought a first home of their own to live in.
They own moms home but no one can live with her.
It is so sad that it at times takes an illness like cancer to bring loved ones together.
My mom was in an accident that almost took her life when I was 20 years old and I did not find out that she was in a Nursing home for days after the accident.
It was after a bad accident I had that broke my jaw and I was in the hospital for 5 days and it took several months to recover and the first person I asked my husband to call was my mom and she only came to see me once in all the time.
Again her sister took over when my mom was in a motor cycle accident that almost took her life. .
I always thought that I would have the main responibility of my mom but it looks as if I will not have any say in her health care. She is not even dead and my sisters fight about her burial. One says Mom can not be burned into ashes that is hatefull. But thats what mom wants.
I have told mom what ever she wants she can have if the rest allow it.
I told her she better write her own article for the paper because if she lets it up to my brother and sisters it will be a very bad article after she dies. She likes that idea.
So I think I have come to turns with the fact she will die one day and I hate to say it but she is so tormented that she will be at peace when she dies.
I am afraid that I could be like her and I have talked with my husband and asked him if I ever showed signs of the kind of illness she has will you please see that I get help.
I talked with the Doctor that I see most often and he see me in Church and I told him about my mom and I asked him the same thing. I said if I ever show signs of that type of illness will you make sure I get help.
He said he did not know it was that bad with my mom.
They both said they would see I got the help I needed .
I hope your reunion with your mom is a good one.
I hope the days can be peacefull.
I hope her illness does not linger long.
I hope you can come to terms with it.
Pray does do good.
Jeanie