I have contacted people I knew regarding a job, a place I worked before, but they do not have any openings nor do they know of anyone hiring, and they are several hundred miles away. As far as a place to live....I don't know where I'll end up for sure. Right now I'm floating from place to place, but none are places I can stay permanently.

I did hear from him (ex) today, he wants me to come back and he says he'll give me time to move my things out. I know I will have to face him at some moment, but it's only been a week and the pain is still fresh. Besides, he still is cold, no concern for the fact we had a life together and a relationship, just come back and get your things. No apology....just keeps telling me the same old thing....that I am the cause for what happened and I am the one in need of mental health help. The thing is I have been in therapy on and off (situationally) for many, many years. We were even in therapy together and I have contact with our therapist. He says my ex. sounds dangerous at the moment and not to go back to him. He hasn't said I'm the crazy one, as a matter of fact, just the opposite. Before we went away, he told my bf (ex) there isn't anything crazy about me and I'm not in need of meds. as by ex. insists on, yet my ex. insists I need help. I'm sure it's his way of dealing with what he has done...to be in denial. Yet, while speaking with my ex. he asked how to use the grill so he could make himself lunch and he went to a play Saturday night....one we were supposed to go to together. Must be nice to have a home, prepare a meal and go out as though you didn't leave a member of your family 3000 miles away. I'm sorry if I sound angry, I'm really not I'm just so down and cannot believe he would go on as though nothing has happened.