If I give the love and support I need from my Dad to him... maybe he will heal a bit as well. He has to know what he has done, in regards to hurting little children with his anger and uncontrolled tantrums in the past.

I will give him the love I do have, and I hope that he feels accepted, because I do know he was worried sick about my cancer diagnosis, as any father would be, good or lousy... I know he loves me the best he can.

...

I feel good that I did this because, heck, I need forgiveness in this world too
... and although I did not do what he did, I also hurt those I loved at times.

Heck, who hasn't.

...

I have the abandoning type, the always said 'no' man, the negative guy who didn't see his girls as little innocent precious things, but rather nuisances, and expenses, so we all left his household in our teens, after feeling like dirt from both parents, and not understanding men at all, or how women were either.

...

I want to be as healthy as possible, and that means I must lose the fears and the past baggage as well, and for me, this is important

...

So, I forgive, release, and am explaining to you all, why I do, because maybe someone else is on the fence, and wants to give the Old Man some gratitude because they found something in their heart worth saving, and tossed out the bad in order to live also.

I'm not saying this is possible for everyone... or that this is what others need to do.

I'm saying I do have this road, and on my path, is forgiveness to all in this life, so that I can be whole again after going thru so much... I do not care to revisit such difficulties, so I embrace changing what I have put off or denied, or didn't know existed in me before.

Peace and Love,
Night
xoxo