((((((((((((((((( Monty )))))))))))))))))))))

I too get a similar feeling over meds, and often swing from deciding that I will start meds to thinking that I can be stronger than taking meds and that I can do it myself. This is faulty thinking I know, but you've taken a big step in organizing it so that you're taking meds, and having all the bloodwork done and such. It's always your choice but if meds are the only way you;re going to keep being functional and such, maybe they are your best bet.