My aunt, who is 83 and lives in Hungary, had a daughter that died about 6 years ago. She still has an eternal flame and a shrine for her daughter in her living room, and every time I see her, she cries and hugs me for hours, and calls me her new daughter. It's sad but at the same time, a little creepy. I don't mind her thinking of me as a daughter, but I can't really think of her as my mother.

I hear your dilemma but I don't have any advice. Maybe you can just send her cards in the mail occasionally after you quit?