This sounds similar to how I was back then, although not quite as destructive. Perhaps you could try something along the lines of the Token Economy. To save the history lesson, the idea is that you make some sort of tokens, whether they be poker chips, paper, etc... . Do not make it real money though. The idea of this is to allow the kid to collect tokens only when they do something good. If they do something bad, do NOT take them away. After they have a certain amount, they can "cash in" and get a certain prize that you allow them to use.

With a 4-year old this may be too much as they may not be able to understand the numbers and such.

For me, I didn't get anything like that. Only later, maybe a 3-4 or so years later (not really sure), my parents gave me puzzles to figure out and once I figured it out, then I got what I wanted. However, I could only get the puzzle after I did whatever things I had to do before then. My parents gave me these puzzles and whatnot as I was naturally good at them and it kept me inside and away from what I shall call my fun (sparing the details).

For me the discipline was essentially yelling, being called worthless and other names, getting hit around, etc... . However, I'm still somewhat the same, still feel nothing except some anger at times. It's currently worse in some areas but better in others, although that's a different topic and probably one I cannot discuss here on the forums.