{{{{{{{{Laura}}}}}}}}}}}

You sound pretty scared and also miserable. I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad. Is there something going on in your life besides your husband's hobby that is also affecting these feelings? Or is it possible that you dislike his choice of hobby or are upset with him about something else? If he knows that this is something that you have struggled with in the past, then bringing home blades like that could be considered pretty insensitive, don't you think?

Who do you have for real life support? Can you count on hubby, or other family members, friends, T, doctors, or somebody to help you to be safe? Is there somebody you could ask to help you to be safe?

You sound really down on yourself right now, but I want to tell you that you don't deserve to be treated as badly as you are treating yourself.