Well I've taken my first step and made an appointment to see my doctor, but I have to wait til the 20th of this month.

I've had depression on and off since I was about 16. I'm now 29. The depression has gotten pretty bad for about the past 2 months, pretty much nonstop. I'd have my good days though, but the past 2 weeks I've had periods where I've felt low every single day. Along with that my head hurts so bad. This past year I've had alot of stressful situations come into my life which I'm sure contribute to this. My grandmother died, I'm going to be a father in a couple months, and I'm in a relationship only because of the baby. Now I'm obssessing over a previous relationship. This pattern is typical of all my relationships. I end up in one, become unhappy, and obssess over a past relationship.

I've thought maybe I'm bipolar, my father was. I'm also a pretty shy person and social situations tend to scare me. I feel I've had to deal with these issues for too long and its become so bad lately I want to get help. I'm just frustrated, it feels like I cant escape stress. I am trying to cope with it, I've started a journal so I can look back at my mood patterns. I also work nights so that might contribute to it. I want to be able to talk to people about this but sometimes I just think they dont want to listen or i'll scare them because i'll sound obssessive.

I need some friends that will listen, I feel like I have shut myself out from my friends.

Well thanks for listening.