Shirley, it is very important for you to NOT SPEAK with the children about any of these matters. That could look like you are playing them. When they ask you for a lawyer, tell them the court is appointing someone and give them the phone number if they want it. Your kids have very strong voices and a skilled person will listen to what is said as well as what is not said. No discussions on the dad and the girlfriend. Assure them that you love them tremendously and will always be their mommy. Share memories together of fun stuff, or dumb stuff;(like the time my youngest fell and left a BUTT hole in the wall). Give them the right to be heard in their own voices by an attorney. Kids know the score. Be better then him, do not sink to his level and do not let him control how you feel about yourself. It's time you went to those women's groups so you can see you are not weak and you have great power. You are MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!