Inky you are their mom or you would not feel so bad now. He was the fool for not telling you. Mom's care and you obviously do.
He cannot make you just a babysitter only you can do that. See your kids and tell them how much you love them. Let them tell you for hours about all the things they have done. Tell them how sorry you are that you missed it. Really listen to them. Give them your ear it is a valuable gift.
Your presence at the events would have been nice but your presence in the children's lives is much more important.
Take care.
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