Oh (((alesta))) sweetie you're going to get through all this. You're a strong young lady with many internal resources to draw upon. That isn't to say you're on your own but rather that you possess an independence that will help you during this next phase of your life.
I am willing to bet that the shelter system will be better than your mother's house. That sounded nightmarish

I'm so sorry.
It is okay to be scared. It is a scary situation you're dealing with. Survival mode isn't a bad thing in a time like this. I really hope that when you are accepted into a shelter that you get enrolled in some women's support services for the abusive situations you've just come from.
You're right........you DO need to vent! Please do!! You're not alone in this as long as you are able to sign in long enough to type a "help" or "hello".
Worried but confident in you,