thank you, tree . you are always so kind to me.

i dont know what pdoc is doing. he might be leaving, he might not. i haven't checked. but i don't care, i don't like him anyway. he will leave eventually, i am sure. so it is better that we stop now (because then HE will be the one who's confused) rather than when he decides to leave and leaves me feeling hurt and confused instead. i hate him and he makes me feel sick. i hate "physicians". stupid, $*&$%^@! physicians.

as for Austin-T. i am seeing him tomorrow, i guess. unlike pdoc, where i don't care and won't show up. can't let Austin-T know, though. that i want to kick him. just gotta do it, or keep my mouth shut and be like a rock. gonna be a crap session, i know it. i'm not opening up to someone who's leaving me. i should've cancelled last week when i found out. but i'm not giving him the pleasure of knowing he's hurting me. won't let that happen with anyone.