Oh Honey, I wish I could help. Please call a domestic abuse hotline and process with a warm voice on the other end of the phone. If you were being stubborn you wouldn't have gave us his letter to you. You are confused, angry and scared, did I miss anything in there, wanna add a few........? Be nice to you please. Give yourself a hug. I mean it, cross your arms across your chest and hug and pat your shoulders in rythum and say, I am good, I am a loving parent. I am way bossy tonight, sorry. Son gets mad at me for trying to fix things. So I should say instead to you, I am sorry you are having so much self doubt, it will change. Rest well.