Deli

They do care. Both.

Cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Austin-T won't take pleasure. He'll understand the pain and wish you could be spared it. Truth be told, pdoc will not be confused. He'll know you're hurting, that you have difficulties with feeling abandoned, that that's how you're feeling with him, and that you're trying to protect yourself from a feared pain and rejection. As with everything, he--any T or pdoc--will some of your family expereince in it. He'll be very sad.

Take advantage of your time with Austin-T. Separation is an issue for you; don't let it be a re-run of past expereinces. Make it work for you; get as best you can. I think this will be as helpful for you as it is hard. We all have to deal with major losses, and with our T's and pdocs at various points. It's part of the way it goes. They have personal lives, too.

Take the good you've experienced and be happy with that; you made major progress in just a bit of time with Austin-T over how that other T left you last winter. Austin is a very different situation.

Take care of yourself.