Thank you Orange.
I have been watching walt dizney movies lately. A couple of days ago I watched the lion king. yesterday Pinichio for the first time .

I just came on here because as i was trying to fal alsleep I had a visual of mt brother red faced angry and naked and Jing off with this look of glee on his face that I have cancer.

It was very vivid .. The doctor told me to cal him and let him know .. I didn't tell her he was my abuser. He has not called me back
Im feeling abandodned by the male friends in my life They all know and no one has come forward ..

except for ome man In my EA support group . Hes a married man and ghe is the kindest funniest man . And he retuurned my call . and said to call him any time. and he even remebered and actaully reminded me I went for a test . i fact the day he asked me was the day the doctords were trying to reach me. that was Monday.

I have only loved these men .. I was only kind .
and now when I need these men they are not here and it really hurts.