Your welcome Abby!

It is really difficult to be vulnerable. I have a very hard time with it because it often lead to things happening to me when I was younger.
I am trying to allow myself to trust my T more. Thats not to say that I have taken all my walls down, I'm am still feeling this out after a really hard session 2 weeks ago.

I want to believe that she really truly does mean it when she says she is sorry. In the natural, my normal way of dealing with something like this is to run. I have done that with many relationships in my life. This time I am trying to do things differently.

I am not an easy client for her. I don't open up a lot but she's been pretty patient. I think I get more frustrated with myself.

Heck, my T is going away for 2 weeks. I told her that I am totally fine with it that it won't bother me at all. But in reality, I will miss her, I just can't tell her that. I guess it's my way of not letting her hurt me, or perhaps not revealing my vulnerability.

I am glad that you are considering the grudge and how to go about dealing with it thats great insight! Therapy is for you!

Ps...your strong as well to have addressed how what she had done had hurt you.