I don't know why i cut and burn. Sometimes I know the triggers. This last time was on Monday after my psychologist appt. During the session, I went into a state he referred to as disassociation. I felt ok when I left, just down and strange. My psychologist said my reaction displayed was typical of PTSD. This is a fairly recent diagnosis. I don't remember things he wants me to remember. Today, I'm really depressed. I've had anorexia in the past and am really freaking out about the seven pounds I have left to lose. I'm 5'4" and 107lbs. I need to be 100lbs. as soon as possible. It's already June--bikini season. I'm in my thirties and feel old. I hate always feeling depressed, tired, and hungry. What's weird is if I can get on a starvation mode and not eat for a week, I start to drop weight and my depression lifts. I'm just really frustrated, lonely, etc. I feel like cutting and burning again, but I've confined myself to one spot and my last hasn't healed yet. I've never burned an open wound before and don't know what would happen if I did. Also, this time my whole wrist swelled up and kept saturating my band aid with this clear liquid stuff. I don't even know why I'm writing. Guess it's cause there's no one to talk to right now.