Thanks all for the wise advice and sharing a part of your story. Yes, I did tell my sponser and told my whole group. They told me to not be disappointed in myself, but think of it as a new lesson in the life of sobriety.

You're right, for a split second, I thought I could control my drinking... But many liqoured drinks later, I realize I can't. From what I understand, I didn't do anything out of the way or stupid as I used to but I was falling all over the place and needed help getting around. So that tells me I can not have control my drinking, that it controls me.

In a way, that upsets me but then again I know it's a blessing. I'm only 18 and to think I can never go to a party and drink or hang out with friends and just casually have a few beers makes me feel like an outsider, which I've always been anyway. But then I find it a blessing because I won't ever have to risk that chance again of driving drunk, having someone take complete care of me because I'm so drunk I can't do it myself, or waking up in places I am not fimilar with.

I lost my NA book and the group I go to doesn't have them. The nearest NA meeting to me is almost an hours drive and my car isn't in good shape right now. I feel naked without my NA book.