Everyone is different. We may share the symptoms that fall under the BPD heading, but we are all separate individuals. As individuals we resond to treatment individually also. And we have different desires. I was on meds for 12 years and was in therapy most of that time too. The I decided to see what I was like without those meds and discontinued taking meds. I researched types of therapies and found what I thought would benefit me--psychodynamic psychotherapy with a psychoanalytic orientation.
And that is what has helped me.
I wish I had found this when I was young and had my life ahead of me, but I'm very grateful for finding it now.